Top 12 Things Likely to be Overheard if You Had a Klingon Programmer
- or -
How to answer ARC questions

 12) "Specifications are for the weak and timid!"


 11) "This machine is a piece of GAGH!  I need dual Pentium
 processors if I am to do battle with this code!"


 10) "You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read
 it in the original Klingon."


 9) "Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your
 skull!"


 8) "What is this talk of 'release'?  Klingons do not make
 software 'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of
 designers and quality assurance people in it's wake."


 7) "Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have
 'arguments' -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM."


 6) "Debugging?  Klingons do not debug.  Our software does not coddle
 the weak."


 5) "I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a
 Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again."


 4) "A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!"


 3) "By filing this SPR you have challenged the honor of my family.
 Prepare to die!"


 2) "You question the worthiness of my code?  I should kill you where
 you stand!"


 1) "Our users will know fear and cower before our software!  Ship it!
 Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!"