Ways things would be different if Microsoft built cars...
  1. A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until AFTER that year, instead of before.
  2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.
  3. Occasionally your car would just die for no reason, you'd have to restart it. For some strange reason, you would just accept this.
  4. You could only have one person at a time in your car, unless you bought a car '95 or a car NT, but then you'd have to buy more seats.
  5. You would be constantly pressured to upgrade your car.
  6. Sun Motorsystems would make a car that was solar powered, twice as reliable, 5 times as fast, but only ran on 5% of the roads.
  7. The oil, alternator, gas, engine warning lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.
  8. People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other brands for years.
  9. We would still be waiting on the "6000 sux 58'" model to come out.
  10. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft Gas (tm).
  11. Lee Iacocca would be hired-on as Bill G.'s chauffeur.
  12. The US government would be GETTING subsidies from an automaker, instead of giving them.
  13. New seats will force everyone to have the same size ass.
  14. Ford, General Motors and Chrysler would all be complaining because Microsoft was putting a radio in all its models.

[back to humour archive]