Irish Weather

Note: All temperatures are in degrees Fahrenheit.

The Temperature Conversion Guide 50 above = New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Irish plant gardens. 40 above = Californians shiver uncontrollably. Irish sunbathe. 35 above = Italian cars won't start. Irish drive with the windows down. 32 above = Distilled water freezes. Irish water gets thicker. 20 above = Floridians wear coats, gloves & wool hats. Irish throw on a t-shirt. 15 above = Californians begin to evacuate the state. Irish go swimming. Zero = New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Irish have the last barbeque before it gets cold. 10 below = People in Miami cease to exist. Irish lick flag poles. 20 below = Californians fly away to Mexico. Irish throw on a light jacket. 40 below = Hollywood disintegrates. Irish rent some videos. 60 below = Mt. St. Helens freezes. Irish Girl Guides begin their Bob-a-job campaign. 80 below = Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica. Irish Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough. 100 below = Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Irish pull down their ear flaps. 173 below = Ethyl alcohol freezes. Irish get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg. 297 below = Microbial life survives on dairy products. Irish cows complain of farmers with cold hands. 460 below = ALL atomic motion stops. Irish start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?" 500 below = Hell freezes over. Manchester Utd win the European Cup.

Humour Archive editor's note 1: We don't use Fahrenheit in Ireland.
Humour Archive editor's note 2: Manchester isn't in Ireland.