You May Be Addicted To IRC:

• If your service provider calls *you* for tech support.
• If someone at work tells you a joke, and you say "LOL!"
• If you have ever had a dream about the people in your channels.
• If you have to scroll through your popup menu.
• If you watch T.V. with the closed captioning turned on.
• If your friend tells you something sad on the phone and you say "Awwww, me hugs Tom."
• If you've called out someone else's nick while making love to your S.O.
• If you keep begging your friends to get an internet account so "we can hang out."
• If you are intimate with three words ... carpel - tunnel - syndrome
• If you want to meet a girl and your first impulse is to turn on your computer.
• If you once devoted a weekend to "working on your popups."
• If you sometimes go to #egypt "just to get away from it all."
• If, when you join #callahans everyone types "Norm!"
• If you're a heterosexual male, but one time used a feminine nick "just to mess with the horny net geeks."
• If you come home from class, look at your roommates, and say "ib."
• If you wait for your roommates to say "re."
• If the words "takeover," "nick collide," and "flood" make your heart beat faster and your hands a little shakey.
• If sometimes you type commands from the unix prompt you mistakenly begin them with a "/"
• If you've ever gotten on an airplane just to meet some folks face to face.
• If you make it a point to change your ping reply and quit message daily.
• If you have over 2 megs of .wav files in your mirc directory.
• If you have to get a second phone line just so you can call Domino's.
• If your child ignores your request and you wonder if they're lagged.
• If you send internet Christmas cards. *wink*
• If you've ever felt the urge to type "*wink*."
• If you have ever wondered if there is a #irc-anon.
• If you have an irc web page.
• If you've ever went to one of those form-submit web page 'chats' just to say "you losers don't even know what irc is, do you? Huh!? DO YOU!?!"
• If you join #hispanola "just to work on your Spanish."
• If, when someone on the channel asks if anyone knows some good servers, everyone else types your nick.
• If you join busy channels just to talk to yourself because the scrolling makes you feel better about it somehow.
• If you've ever typed "drinking on irc is better than drinking alone."
• If you go into labor and you stop to type a "special" away message.
• If you have a vanity car tag with your nick on it.
• If you've been lagged so bad that you've switched servers so much you can see your nick on the channel list three times.
• If you no longer type with proper punctuation, capitalization, or complete sentences.
• If your umode is +s because you don't feel right without it.
• If you don't know your S.O.'s first name.
• If your RL S.O. gets on irc because it's the only way to reach you.
• If you know which servers are major hubs in *.tw
• If you call your S.O. a HNG.
• If you use words like "lame" and "leet" in RL.
• If you find yourself wishing that b**** on your hall were on irc so you could flood her.
• If you read operlist.
• If you tell your RL friends you have plans already on Saturday night when you don't.
• If you feel the need to talk in all caps to certain people in RL.
• If your mirc .ini is over 80k.
• If your desk is the only part of your room that you ever use (screw the bed).
• If you have ever put a smiley in a paper for work.
• If the Jehovah's Witnesses knock on the door and all you can think of doing is flooding them with pings.
• If you get a call from a telemarketer and you put the phone down and set their mode to -v.
• If you call your friend Cheryl and /invite $nick to #watch_TV.
• If you offer the babysitter OPS when you go out for the night.
• If you refer to rush hour traffic as lagged.
• If, to avoid traffic, you tell your passenger to quit for a second and switch servers.
• If the word "I" is replaced in your vocabulary with /me.
• If you raise your hand in class and say "BRB."
• If you have more than three private message windows going simultaneously.
• If you don't subscribe to a certain ISP because they don't offer unlimited time.
• If, instead of taking a disk home from work, you set up your BOT to serve it to you later that night.
• If you no longer have to stop and explain to your friends what "RE ALL" means.
• If you begin to say hehehehehehehe instead of laughing.
• If you don't sleep at night because you stay up too late thinking of a new NICK.
• If you know, and use regularly, more than 10 different ways to smile in ascii text.
• If you cry when you see more than 3 quit messages with two servers listed as the reason.
• If, when someone says "what did you say?", you reply "scroll up!"
• If you sneak to the computer in the middle of the night to get in more irc time.
• If you know more about your irc friend's daily routines than you do your spouse's.
• If, when someone complains about your phone being busy, you say it was off the hook.
• If you change nicks so much that you have to type /me to see who you are.
• If you would rather tell people your bloodshot eyes are from too much partying instead of the truth.
• If you put on special mood music while talking to certain people in private chats.
• If your friends on irc were above your RL friends on your Christmas card list.
• If you find yourself involved in channel politics on irc.
• If you ever turned down real hugs for {{{hugs}}} from irc friends.
• If you have actually kept up with ten conversations at one time.
• If you postpone your graduation so you can keep your free .edu account.
• If you have ever written a pen and paper letter and found it impossible to do without the smileys.
• If you don't even bother answering the phone anymore.
• If you're broke and your modem burns out and you go to the streets to sell your body to get a new one.
• If you're willing to risk a divorce because your S.O. doesn't like the time you spend on the computer.
• If you consider getting a THIRD phone line so your S.O. can get online with a different account.
• If you yell at people because they aww using more than 2 w's and are messing up your URL list.
• If you've ever had netsex with a BOT.
• If you go to a movie looking for the perfect "info line."
• If you have more than 2 megs of wav files on your hard drive
• If you join #Wavsrus and everybody looks normal
• If you have 2 internet providers In case one goes offline

Compliments of: Greek2me <showbiz@wwz.com>, DALnet Channel #Wavsrus

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