General Goofs

"This is a great day for France!"

"Now, like, I'm President. It would be pretty hard for some drug guy to come into the White House and start offering it up, you know? ... I bet if they did, I hope I would say, 'Hey, get lost. We don't want any of that.'"

"For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan. We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex ... uh... setbacks."

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy. But that could change."

"Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here."

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind-- or not to have a mind. How true that is."

"I am honored today to begin my first term as the Governor of Baltimore-that is Maryland."

"The caribou love it. They rub against it and they have babies. There are more caribou in Alaska than you can shake a stick at."

"I hope I stand for anti-bigotry, anti-Semitism, anti-racism. This is what drives me."

"If I listened to Michael Dukakis long enough I would be convinced that we're in an economic downturn and people are homeless and going without food and medical attention and that we've got to do something about the unemployed."

"My fellow Americans, I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit. Mars is somewhat the same distance from the sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."

"Now we are trying to get unemployment to go up and I think we're going to succeed."

Walter Mondale: George Bush doesn't have the manhood to apologize.
Bush: Well, on the manhood thing, I'll put mine up against his any time.

FOREIGN GOOFS

"Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave."

"I am a jelly doughnut"

"You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."

"It takes a virile man to make a chicken pregnant."

MISCELLANEOUS

"Nixon has been sitting in the White House while George McGovern has been exposing himself to the people of the United States."

"Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It's rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing for the Padres!"

"I want you to take your balls in your hand and bounce them on the floor and then throw them as high as you can. Now, have you all got your balls in your hands?"

They X-Rayed my head and found nothing.

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."