Balance On Earth

Once upon a time in the kindom of Heaven, God went missing for seven days. Eventually, Michael the archangle found him. He inquired of God, "where were you?". God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds; "look son,look what I'm after making". Archangle Micahel looked puzzled and said, "what is it?" God replied, "it's another planet but I'm after putting LIFE on it. I've named it earth and there's going to be a balance between everything on it.

For example, there's north America and south America. North America is going to be rich and south America is going to be poor, and the narrow bit joining them - that's going to be a hot spot. Now look over here. I've put a continent of whites in the north and another one of blacks in the south.

And then the archangle said, "and what's that green dot there?". And God said "ahhh that's the Emerald Isle - that's a very special place. That's going to be the most glorious spot on earth; Beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams, and an exquisite coast line. These people here are going to be great craic and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be playwrights and poets and singers and songwriters. And I'm going to give them this black liquid which they're going to go mad on and for which people will come from the far corners of the earth to imbibe.

Michael the Archangle gasped in wonder and admiration but then seeming startled proclaimed: "Hold on a second, what about the BALANCE, you said there was going to be a balance...

God replied wisely.

"Wait until you see the neighbours I'm going to give them"